A big bad world

Why exactly are we looking at a picture of a half-eaten cookie in my hand? Because this little gluten-containing cookie, dear friends, is serving as a wake-up call to living with a Celiac Kid.

If you ask any of my relatives, they will probably gladly share with you what pain I have been with the constant reminders of what to feed and what not to feed Buttercup since she stared on solid foods. I even made my own baby food so that she could enjoy options like Chicken Noodle puree and ensure no accidental gluten-ingestion ever occurred.

And we've done pretty well so far. We've learned where we can shop, what we can buy, and what to avoid (through unfortunate trial and error) over the last five years since The Celiac Dad was diagnosed. But he's out of town right now and well, I got stupid and left a cherry chip cookie within reach...right before walking out of the room.

Yes, I know. Bad Celiac Mom...BAD!

And as Buttercup gleefully ran into the bedroom with the cookie in her outstretched hand, seemingly with the sole intention of giving Mommy back her cookie, I suddenly realized that I may have to revise how I handle gluten things in my home.

See, up till this morning, I believed I was doing all I could to keep Buttercup safe from any potential pain brought on by a celiac reaction until she is old enough to be tested. And that thinking pretty much meant that I made her food and mine separate, snacks included. It did not, however, mean that I stopped eating gluten-containing foods in front of her.

That mindset may have worked when dealing with The Celiac Dad, who was smart enough not to stand between me and my gluten, but with a 17-month-old toddler ready to take on the world?

Yeah....about that.

When Buttercup handed me the cookie, I immediately checked her lips for crumbs (There were none.) I pried her mouth open for any visible proof of cookie residue on her little tongue (clear!). And then I went all "CSI" on myself and placed the bite mark in the cookie against my own teeth (it matched!), instantly realizing that Buttercup is a genius who jut thought Mommy might want another bite of the cookie she herself is not allowed to eat.

And as if to prove that she was okay with her lot in life, Buttercup promptly sat down and grabbed up her little snack-trap cup, filled with gluten-free dried cereal, and began munching away. So the story does have a happy ending, quite literally, and yet I am still sitting here feeling like the worst mother in the world.

Why? Because after all the harping on my family, I almost poisoned my own daughter. It's not exactly knowledge that sits well with me. But no matter how badly I feel for what almost happened, I don't feel bad enough to ban gluten from my home. It's a big, bad, gluten-containing world out there, and I need to be the one to help Buttercup distinguish between what is safe for her to eat and what is not and...wait!

Maybe I already did that.

There, now I don't feel so bad after all.